Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, "Do you want to know about your husband's future?"

Without hesitation, the wife responds. "I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past."

Doctor: Your case is quite complicated.

Patient: Why doctor? What happened?

Doctor: You got a disease from the chapter which I left as optional during my studies.

Teacher: What is an island?

Student : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.

Teacher : On one side?

Student : Yes, on top!