Jose was chatting with his friend Pablo. He said to Pablo, “My wife is a BIG spendthrift. She keeps asking me for more and more money every week.”

Pablo asked, “But what does she spend all that money on?”

Jose replied, “Who knows, I never give her any money.”

What did the egg say to the whisk?

I know when I'm beaten.

The engineering students conspired to make fun of the professor, Mr. Lawrence. They went up to him and said, “Sir, We have invented a device which can help one see through a solid wall.”

Mr. Lawrence asked, “Really? What is that?”

One student said, “A hole.”

My wife called. She said, "The two kids want you to take them bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema."

"It's either one or the other," I said. "Otherwise it's too expensive."

"OK" she replied. "Which one do you prefer?"

I said, "David!"