Ken and Jim were fortunate in that they each had a season ticket to watch The Kansas City Royals. However, they had a friend Ed who would give his right arm for a season ticket. They could not help noticing that there was always an empty seat next to theirs.

One day, during a rain delay, Ken and Jim went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for their friend. The man at the window said, "Sorry men, that seat has already been sold."

Nevertheless, game after game, it was still empty. Then on Labor day, much to Ken and Jim's amazement, for the first time that season, the seat was full. Jim could not resist asking the newcomer, "Where have you been all season?"

"Don't ask," he said. "The wife bought this season ticket back in March, and gave it to me yesterday for a surprise Birthday present."

Husband says to his wife, "See you honey, I am off to play Hit and Cuss."

"Hit and Cuss? What's that?" she asked.

He answered, "Well, some people call it golf."

What did the bra say to the hat??

You go on ahead, I will give these two a lift.

After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room. Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.

When he returned from making his call, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said "Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The world's fastest runner."