I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.