Best Jokes

It's Christmas Eve and mom is busily preparing the last minute decorations in the family room when little Sally asks: "Mom, don't forget to put out the treat for Santa next to the fireplace."

The mom thanks Sally and goes to the kitchen for Santa's treat. Later, when putting her to bed Sally says. "Mom, why did you put a can of Slim-fast next to Santa's treat?"

Distracted and anxious to get back downstairs to finish the decorations mom replies. "Daddy is on a diet."

A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I've only been out driving for 25 minutes."

Q: What did the ghost say to the doctor?
A: I have a boo boo

I was going to tell you the joke about the pencil, but there's really no point to it.