Best Jokes

A man owned a very intelligent dog so, after a long period of time, taught him how to play poker. The dog did very well and won a lot of pots until the owner had to pull him out of the games. “He realized that whenever the dog held a really good hand he wagged his tail.”

What are the 3 most dangerous sayings in the Navy???

1. An Ensign saying "I learned this at the Academy"
2. A Lieutenant saying "Based on my experience"
3. A Navy Chief saying "Hey, watch this"

An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.

He asked for a putter, then drove three hundred yards onto the green. Then he asked for a driver and drove the ball to within two feet of the cup. Then he asked for a niblick and got the ball into the cup. “Now I’m in trouble,” he told the caddie.
“Why?”
“I don’t know what club to use to get it out.”