Best Jokes

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish.”

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession…even to the Supermarket which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!”

Trying to come to the aid of his Dad, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the mischievous child piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”

Three small kids were bragging about how tough they were. “I’m so tough”, said the first little boy, “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week.” The second little boy said, “I’m so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day.” “That’s nothing”, said the third child. “When my parents take me to see my Grandma and Grandpa, I can wear them out in an hour."