Best Jokes

Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category of ‘Home Improvement.’”

The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried and old fashioned method of persuasion.

He brought in a sign that said, “I’m the Boss!” and taped it to his door.

After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his. It read: “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

Two old ladies, Mary and Martha met in the town, "Mary, how was the weather on your week's holiday". "Oh not so bad it only rained twice, Once for four days and once for three"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the desert when a line of mounted Indians appeared to the right of them. They looked to the left and saw another line of mounted Indians. Behind them they saw another line of mounted Indians.
The Lone Ranger said, "Looks like we're in trouble, Tonto."
Tonto replied, "What do you mean WE, white man?"