Best Jokes

“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.”

“How long have you had this feeling?”

“Ever since I was a kid.”

Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal.
Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper.
Doctor: To make your will?
Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite.

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse serving drinks. The guy stares until the horse finally says, “What’s the problem? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?”
The guy says, “No, it’s not that. It is just that I never thought the ferret would sell the place.”

A Spanish man wants to buy a soda from the soda machine. He puts in some change. The machine says "DIME". The man tells the machine "Yo quiero Pepsi!"