Best Jokes

A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I’ll bet you don’t have anything like this in Texas.
The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it.

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

“I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car,” he said.

“That’s right, sir,” the salesman answered. “We will replace anything that breaks.”

“Fine, I need a new garage door.”

Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal.
Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper.
Doctor: To make your will?
Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite.

Doctor, you were right when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking in no time.
That’s good John; when did you start walking?
When I got your bill doctor, I had to sell my car to pay it.