Best Jokes

Doctor, you were right when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking in no time.
That’s good John; when did you start walking?
When I got your bill doctor, I had to sell my car to pay it.

“I’d like to order a bar pizza,” the idiot says.
“Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices,” the barmaid asks.
“Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

The dumb guy walks up to the door of a bar, rolling a wheel along with him.

The bouncer says, “Hey, what are you doing with that?”

“Last time I came here, they said we had to have proper ID and a tire.”

I’m going to buy a farm two miles long and half inch wide said Jed.
What, would you grow on a farm that size, asked Roger.
Spaghetti, said Jed.