Best Jokes

Have you heard that a company has come out with a new cell phone made just for senior citizens?
It not only has bigger numbers, rotary dial and the best feature; it has less memory.

A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to pay a $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer, knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking, “Your honor, my client can only afford $50. But if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd…"

After hitting his 7th ball into the water on the 4th hole, a father turns to his son and says, "It takes a lot of ball to play golf the way I do."

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?

“The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

“How?" asks the man, puzzled.

“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."