Latest Jokes

A young woman came back from her honeymoon and called her mother. Mama, I need to see you right away. The mother ran over to her daughter’s house. The daughter said, Mama I have to leave my husband, I just can't stay with him. The mother advised her daughter” now look here, your married to him now so you need to stay with him. But mama, he says these things, these things. No matter my dear daughter he is your husband and your place is by his side. But mama, you don't understand that he says these things, these. So the mother asked her daughter what things the husband is saying. Mama, he says, wash clothes, cook dinner & iron clothes. The mother quickly said, pack your bags, your going back home.

A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?"

A giraffe walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Do you want a longneck?"

The giraffe replied, “Do I have a choice?"

It was Halloween night... A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him. He turned around and saw a coffin following him. He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him. He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs. The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs. The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom. The coffin burst into the bathroom. The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find. What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.