Latest Jokes

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.'"

This man was talking to himself. "I wish I could meet some really important people before I die...."
A man walked up to him and said, "Hi, my name is Mike and I overheard you. I can help you because I know everybody on the planet who is alive today."
"No way, you must be pulling my leg. Let's go to Jane Hull so you can prove it to me," said the man.
So they go to Jane Hull's office, and when she notices Mike, they start to talk about how they were in kindergarten together.
"Okay, it could have been a coincidence that you were in kindergarten together. Let's go talk to the president!" said the man. So they took a jet to the White House where the President was having a press conference. When the President saw Mike, they started to talk about how they were in band together.
"Okay for your last test, let's go to the Pope!" said the man. So they took a jet to Rome and when they got there they went to a church were the Pope was giving a sermon. After the sermon, Mike walked up to the Pope and they shook hands and started to talk.
When Mike walked back over to the man, the man said, "You know, I had a hard time believing you even after the Pope until a guy came up to me and said, "Hey who is that standing next to Mike?!"