Dating Rejection form letter
Dear _______________,
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.
I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: (Check those that apply)
1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
2. ___Your constant emailing, shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!
3. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.
4. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.
5. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
6. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
7. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
8. ___You still live with your parents.
9. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
10. ___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, _________________________________