HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 2301
# of followers : 33
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 2505.00
3 votes

“Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you,” said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation.

“I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and we decided we are going to get married!”

“Oh Samantha! I am so happy for you!” gushed her mom giving, her a big hug. “I hope you two will be really happy together! I can’t wait to meet him!”

“Tell us more about him” said her dad, “does he have any money?”

“Oh Dad! Is that all you men ever think about? That was the first question he asked me about you too!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$9.00 won 5 votes

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with mom.

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.

I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.

"You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there.

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

On a street where the speed is limit is 30 mph, the police stop a driver. "Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot. What's your name?"

"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."

"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."

3 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |