Favorite this joke My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."
Wanting to have a quick love-making session, the couple told their 8-year-old son to go stand on the balcony with a popsicle and to report to them all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed.
"An ambulance just drove by." A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike."
A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving... and Jason is on his skate board." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex."
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sex?"
"Because Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a popsicle too."
Glenn and Scott are bungee jumping one day when Glenn has a brainstorm, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico."
Scott agrees that it would be a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the main square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When everything is ready Glenn gives it a test jump.
When he bounces at the end of the cord and comes back up, Scott notices that Glenn has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the Scott isn't able catch him, so Glenn falls again, bounces, and then comes back up. This time, Glenn is bruised and bleeding. Again, Scott misses him. Glenn goes down again and this time, he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
On the next attempt, Scott finally catches him and pulls him in. "What happened?" he asks. "Was the cord too long?"
Glenn catches his breath and replies, "No, the cord was fine, but tell me... what the heck is a piñata?"
A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh, no..." says the knight. "Well, you do now."
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