Favorite this joke A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy,
"How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make a little over $400 dollars a week, why?
The CEO said,"Wait right here."
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked,
"Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said,
"Sure - he was the Pizza delivery guy from Domino's and was just waiting to collect the money!"
A private just out of training is assigned to guard the main gate.
He is ordered to allow no one through unless they have the password.
A vehicle with a 3-star general inside rolls up. The private stops the vehicle and asks the driver for the password.
The driver doesn't know the password. The private, after saluting the general, asks him the for the password. The general doesn't know it either.
The private says, “I can’t let you through without the password.”
The general replies, “Son I'm the commander of this base and a 3-star general!”
The private says, “Sir, I still can’t let you pass."
The general tells the driver to drive on through.
The private then says to the general, “Sir I'm real new to this. Do I shoot you or the driver?”
England's West Country is known for its charming cottage-like shops. While visiting the area, my friend peered in through one window to see shelf upon shelf of interesting looking books. So, she went inside.
A woman appeared through a beaded curtain and asked, "Can I help you?"
"No, just browsing," said my friend.
"Fine," came the reply. "But, just so you know, around here, most people knock before entering someone's home."
Two campers where hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them.
Both campers start running for their lives when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes.
His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"
His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"
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