Little Johnny: I’m so glad you named me Little Johnny.
Mother: Why do you say that?
Little Johnny: Because that’s what all the kids in school call me.
Woman: Doctor, please come quickly! My little boy has just swallowed my fountain pen!
Doctor: Of course, I’ll be right there. What are you doing in the meantime?
Woman: Using a pencil.
Sam: I’m having a lot of trouble with eczema, teacher.
Teacher: Heavens, where do you have it?
Sam: I don’t have it, I just can’t spell it.
Teacher: Little Johnny, if one and one make two, and two and two makes four, how much does four and four make?
Little Johnny: That isn’t fair, teacher. You answer the easy ones yourself and leave the hard ones for us.