A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house.
The host deftly carved the turkey and said, "I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"
The surgeon replied, "Anybody can take it apart. Let's see you put it back together again."
A ten-year-old was watching TV with her Grandma.
The newscaster interrupted the program to announce the outcome of a political election.
"More on candidates at 11pm," he said.
The child exclaimed, "I didn't know they could call politicians 'morons' on national television!"
One night I woke myself up with a loud "Hello!" to someone in my dream. As the next day came and went, I thought the nocturnal outburst was mine alone to remember.
But that night, as my wife and I were getting ready for bed, she said dryly, "If you see anyone you know tonight, just wave."