The prizefighter and the lady, out on a blind date, were dining at a Broadway night club.
"You have such shell like ears, so thin and delicate, but..." he added teasing, "that's an indication of a weak character, isn't it?"
"I don't know about that," she came back, "but I do know that thick ears are a sign of a weak defense."
A couple that just moved into their new home in the suburbs were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was for sale in the kennels of a nearby dealer.
Shortly afterwards the house was entered by burglars, who made away with a good haul while the dog slept. The householder went to the kennel dealer and told him about it.
"Well, what you need now," said the dealer, "is a little dog to wake up the big dog."
The pastor of a local church was visited by a man evidently worse for liquor, and a young lady.
She said to the minister, "Please, sir, we've come to be married."
"I can't marry you with this man in this condition," said the clergyman. "Besides haven't you been here twice before, and haven't I told you the same thing?"
Yes, sir, you have," replied the lady. "But when he isn't drunk, I can't get him to come with me, sir."
"Jake," said his employer, "you've done a lot of good things since you've been here. I'm going to increase your pay five dollars a week."
"Thanks boss," replied Jake. "Would you mind putting that in writing?"
"Why? Don't you trust me?"
"I trust you boss," replied Jake. "It's my wife. If I say I got a five dollar raise, she will think it's really fifteen. I just need proof."