Mary Profile



User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 61
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$12.00 won 9 votes

The company where I work provides four-foot-high cubicles so each employee can have some privacy.

One day a co-worker had an exasperating phone conversation with one of her teenage sons. After hanging up, she heaved a sigh and said, "No one ever listens to me."

Immediately, several voices from surrounding cubicles called out, "Yes, yes we do."

9 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Mary" |
$9.00 won 5 votes

As my sister relaxed on the couch, her head comfortably leaning against the crook of her husband’s arm, her cell phone beeped.

She looked at her phone. It was a text message from her husband.

The message: "Please Move."

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Mary" |
$9.00 won 4 votes

A client recently brought her two cats to my husband’s veterinary clinic for their annual checkup. One was a small-framed, round tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a long, sleek black cat.

She watched closely as I put each on the scale. “They weigh about the same,” I told her.

“That proves it!” she exclaimed. “Black does make you look slimmer and stripes make you look fat.”

4 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Mary" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

When I announced that I was getting married, my excited mother said, “You have to have the rehearsal dinner someplace opulent, where there’s dancing.”

My father, seeing where this was heading, said, “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to elope.”

“And you have to have a breakfast, for the people who are coming from out of town.”

“Two thousand.”

“We’ll need a photographer. Oh, and what colors do you want for the reception?”

“Five thousand!”

We eloped to Spain.

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Mary" |