On my birthday I was cutting the lawn when my teenage son came home from a baseball game. Seeing me behind the mower, he exclaimed, "Oh, Dad, you shouldn't have to mow the lawn on your birthday."
Touched, I was about to turn the mower over to him when he added, "You should wait until tomorrow!"
A customer at a restaurant summoned the waiter and said angrily, “Look at the size of this piece of beef. Last evening, I received a piece more than twice its size!”
“Where did you sit?” asked the waiter.
“By the window. Why does that matter?”
“Well, that explains it. We always serve larger portions to customers sitting by the window. It’s good advertising.”
The teacher asked her students, “Who can tell me what the ruler of Russia was called?”
“Czar,” the class replied in unison.
“Correct. And what was his wife called?”
“Czarina,” the class replied.
“Good! And what were his children called?”
A timid voice piped up, “Czardines?”