Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 2445
# of followers : 8
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 461.00
2 votes

At a mental health hospital a psychiatrist sets a test to determine the mental progress of his three top patients. He gets three chairs and repaints them. Before they dry, he re-positions them in a room in such a way that one is in front of the other.

After this, he calls the three patients and asks them to seat down. The first two gladly sit on the wet chairs at the front. However, the third who comes in last takes one look at the wet chair and then proceeds to the corner of the room where there is a pile of papers. He takes one sheet which he drapes on the wet chair before sitting.

Surprised by the action of the third, the doctor asks him why he draped the sheet of paper on the wet chair.

“That's easy," came the reply, "seeing that I am seated at the back, I needed to be a bit raised if I wanted to see what's happening at the front."

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked.

“135,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, “Your height?”

“5 foot 4,” I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5 foot 2 inches. She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I screamed. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
0 votes

Two men were discussing the merits of a book. Finally one of them - himself an author - said to the other, "You can't appreciate it because you never wrote a book yourself."

"No, I have not" the other man retorted, "but then again, I never laid an egg and yet I'm still a better judge of an omelet than any hen."

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 3 votes

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

3 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |