Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3386
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 7
Location: United States
won: $ 938.00
$12.00 won 1 votes

A scratch golfer hits his ball three hundred yards straight down the fairway, and it hits a sprinkler and careens off into the woods. He finds the ball, but trees surround it. He is pissed, says what the hell, grabs his nine-iron, and hits the ball as hard as he can. It bounces off a tree back at the golfer’s head and kills him.

He arrives in heaven, and God himself is at the Pearly Gates to greet him. Looking up his records, God sees that the guy golf’s and says, “Are you any good?”

The golfer looks at God and says, “I got here in two, didn’t I?”

1 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$10.00 won 1 votes

Due to recent cutbacks...

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!

1 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$50.00 won 6 votes

A farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?"

"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Jeffrey? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Jeffrey getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”

The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Jeffrey."

6 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 1 votes
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Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?"

Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy."

Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."

Boy 2: "It will if it's your big brother's candy!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |