The news today has wonderful information...

Dark Chocolate is good for your health and romaine lettuce is not.

I've been waiting for this all my life!

Johnny's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Johnny, who's just five years old, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that it hurts."

Mom was barely out of the room when the little girl screamed. Rushing back in she said, "What happened?"

"She knows now," little Johnny explained.

The city has closed a road to repair a collapsed sewer-pipe. The actual road closure is not apparent until you go around a bend.

So a lot of drivers go to see if the road is really closed and then have to turn in the narrow road. Their embarrassment is made worse by the back of the "ROAD CLOSED" sign.

The back of the sign reads: "TOLD YOU SO!"