Benjones Profile

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Benjones

User Details

Member Since : May, 2018
# of jokes posted : 643
# of followers : 10
# of following: 4
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1844.00
$15.00 won 8 votes

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher.

The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times!"

8 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$12.00 won 7 votes

A soccer hooligan is charged with disorderly conduct and assault after a match. The arresting officer states that the accused had thrown something into the river not far from the stadium.

“What exactly did the accused throw into the river?” the judge asks.

“Stones, sir,” the officer replies.

The judge is confused. “Well, that’s hardly an offense, officer.”

“It was in this case, sir,” the officer explains. “Stones was the name of the referee.”

7 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$50.00 won 8 votes

After separate but lengthy trials two guys meet in a prison-cell and tried to get the upper or lower bunk.

PRISONER #1: How long are you here for? 

PRISONER#2 : Twenty-seven years. Hwo long are you in for? 

PRISIONER #1 : Twenty-five years. 

PRISONER #2 : Well,then, you sleep by the door: you'll get out before me. 

8 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$50.00 won 8 votes

THINGS THAT IS DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

 THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive- aggressive disorder  

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Nope, no more beer for me.
2. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
3. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

8 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Benjones" |