A man called up a bird store the other day and said, "Send me 30,000 cockroaches at once!"
"What in heaven's name do you want with 30,000 cockroaches?"
"Well," replied the householder, "I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises here in exactly the same condition in which I found them."
Michigan Lawyer: "Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?"
Barney: "No sir. I ain't got no money, but I do get a 1928 Ford Car!"
Lawyer: "Well you can raise money on that. Now let's see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?"
Barney: "A 1928 Ford Car."
"How about two of them?" asked the pharmacist to the man who was buying a toothbrush. "One for your wife?"
"No, thanks. When I buy a new one, I always give her the old one."
He paused while several other curstomers in the store gasped, and then he added, "She uses it to clean her shoes."