Little Johnny and his younger sister Everleigh were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.

"Have you eaten your banana yet?" Johnny asked excitedly.

"No," replied Everleigh.

"Well don't touch it then!" Johnny shouted. "I just took a bite and went blind!"

A man came in late for work one day for the second time that week. His boss called him into her office and said, “What’s your excuse this time?”

He shrugged and said, “My clock didn’t go off and I overslept.”

She replied, “You could at least tell me something I haven’t heard before.”

He replied, “You are looking lovely today.”

My face in the mirror isn’t wrinkled or drawn.

My house isn’t dirty. The cobwebs are gone.

My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.

I think I might never put my glasses back on.