After being punished for losing his temper, a little boy ventured to ask his mother, “Please explain to me the difference between my foul tempered and your worn nerves.”

“The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with the money bags,” a defense lawyer confided to a suspect. “That’s nothing, said the suspect. “I can produce five hundred witnesses who didn’t see me running from the bank.”

After a week of agonizing physical training, police academy cadets still hadn’t been admitted to the firing range. “I don’t get it,” huffed one trainee to another as they pounded out yet another five-mile jog. “What do you mean?” “We still don’t know how to protect people and property, but we’re getting real good at running away.”

Do you think there is intelligent life on Mars? Ask John.
I sure do, replied Bob; you don’t see them spending billions of dollars to come here, do you?