There was some upset at Margaret Thatcher’s funeral when the decorations were being prepared. More specifically over the drawing pins used to put them up. The upset was caused because a cheap Polish imported brand was used; people said the organizers should have supported British businesses. Apparently some people were so upset they threatened to go on hunger strike. I thought we'd seen the end of the Pole Tacks Diets.

I have this big problem, doctor – everyone is calling me crazy just because I love hot dogs …
- That’s stupid, in my opinion – frankly, I adore hot dogs too, but nobody calls me crazy ...
- Really? Great, doctor! Why don’t you come along with me and I’ll show you my collection!

Did you hear about the dead cabbage?
There was a big turnip at the funeral.

A speaker at Democratic National Convention asked the audience, "Are you better off now?"
The audience answered in chorus voice, "Yes."
As soon as the loud voice turned silent, a delegate stood up and asked, "How did the GOP get better off?"
The speaker declared, "We all are on the same boat, remember?"
The delegate exasperated, "Yeah, Noah's Ark - animals in couples!"