HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1077
# of followers : 28
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 9
Location: United States
won: $ 869.00
$8.00 won 4 votes
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Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home.

Shall I give him Grandma?"

4 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, "Oh, how did it go?"

"I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."

"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 5 votes
 

A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged.

"I only pay 30 bucks for my own haircut!" she said.

The groomer replied, "That may be true. But then you don't bite, do you?"

5 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$8.00 won 3 votes

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.”

The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”

The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!”

The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.”

To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”

3 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |