My daughter called me at work to say I had received a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account.
Returning the call to my bank, the operator asked what Josh's last name was. I explained that he hadn't left his last name.
Then she asked for his department, and I said that I didn't know that either.
"There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she told me rather sharply.
So I asked her for her name.
"Danielle," she said.
"And your last name?" I asked.
"Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names."
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!"
"What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. "His wife sent him out for a jar of olives."
Two friends are talking over lunch in an outdoor patio.
"So what are you doing for summer vacation?" one asks.
The other one replies, " I want to go to Italy again, like last year."
The first asks, "Wow! You went to Italy last year?"
The other answers, "No, but I wanted to."
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."
One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."