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merk

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 2680
# of followers : 5
# of following: 2
Location: United States
won: $ 2512.00
$50.00 won 3 votes

At a gas station, my husband, Jason watched an older lady fill up her car. As he was wondering whether or not someone her age should still be driving, she pulled up to him, rolled down the window and said, "Excuse me, sir...

My husband walked over, "How can I help you?"

"What year is it?" she asked.

Feeling sorry for her, he replied, kindly, "It's 2022, ma'am."

The lady looked at him strangely and said, "No, your car. What year is your car?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers.

"Oh, you're four," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?"

The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger."

3 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who was the better programmer. This went on for a few hours until they agreed to hold a contest with God as the judge. They sat at their computers and began.

They typed furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up on the screen.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning struck, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power was restored, and God announced that the contest was over. He asked Satan to show what he had come up with. Satan was visibly upset, and cried, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," God said, "Let us see if Jesus did any better."

Jesus entered a command, and the screen came to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir poured forth from the speakers.

Satan was astonished. He stuttered, "But how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckled. "Jesus Saves," he said.

4 votes

CATEGORY Computer Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 4 votes

When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too.

Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he'd found inside the dryer. He didn't know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job.

"I have the other parts," the clerk said, "but for the wire you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife's bra."

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "merk" |