A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.
"That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!"
"You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."
My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where my 5-year-old daughter Samantha was and asked her, "Notice anything different?"
To which she replied, "No," with a puzzled look on her face.
My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone."
Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said, "I didn't take it!"
While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked me how to spell "piranha."
I told him I was unsure. To my delight, he went to the dictionary to solve his problem.
That's when I overheard another pupil say to him, "Why bother to look it up? She doesn't know how to spell it anyway."
Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition.
The successful one said, "How has everything been going with you?"
"Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I'm as rich as Rockefeller."
The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page. He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, "Chapter Eleven."