merk Profile

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merk

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1544
# of followers : 5
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 4
Location: United States
won: $ 1489.00
$25.00 won 2 votes

- Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

- "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do," is the longest sentence?

- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 1 votes

The mother-in-law stopped by her daughter's house after shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened?" she asked anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife --- your daughter --- telling her I was coming home a day early from my fishing trip. I got home... and guess what I found? Your daughter in bed with a naked guy! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" said his mother-in-law. "There's something very odd about that. She would never do such a thing. There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her and find out what happened."

A few minutes later, the mother-in-law came back with a big smile and said, "I told you there must be a simple explanation --- she didn't get your email."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.

"That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!"

"You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."

4 votes

CATEGORY Money Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "merk" |
$25.00 won 3 votes

My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where my 5-year-old daughter Samantha was and asked her, "Notice anything different?"

To which she replied, "No," with a puzzled look on her face.

My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone."

Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said, "I didn't take it!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "merk" |