A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.
The bartender says, "Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."
Mrs. Marble, a Sunday School teacher, was telling her students about the time when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt.
Little Percy interrupted. “My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced, “and she turned into a telephone pole.”
Sarah, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.
"Rome was built at night," was his answer.
"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"
"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."
While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked me how to spell "piranha."
I told him I was unsure. To my delight, he went to the dictionary to solve his problem.
That's when I overheard another pupil say to him, "Why bother to look it up? She doesn't know how to spell it anyway."