merk Profile

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merk

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 756
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 6
Location: United States
won: $ 722.00
$12.00 won 4 votes

At my friends' wedding reception, the groom stood to say a few words. He turned to his bride's mother. "You've given me a gift," he began, "a gift that..."

Here he paused in thought, whereupon his mother-in-law completed the sentence, "That you can't return!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
$5.00 won 3 votes

As a new school principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day.

Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been at previously had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.

Cautiously, he asked the school's long time custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?"

The Custodian looked at him gravely... "We trust them with the children, don't we?"

3 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "merk" |
$5.00 won 3 votes

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.

He told me to quit going to those places.

3 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 4 votes

This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan.

So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.

He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?"

"Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |