merk Profile

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merk

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1071
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 7
Location: United States
won: $ 1031.00
$9.00 won 3 votes

Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it's biting my fingernails.

One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails.

"Great Idea, Honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "merk" |
$25.00 won 4 votes
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"

One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' Father's name was?"

Another child said, "The Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The little one said, "Well, you know they are always talking about The Verge n' Mary."

4 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: "What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?"

One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there could be something else going on there."

2 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "merk" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

Upon retiring, a woman decided to fulfill her lifelong dream and live abroad. As part of her preparations, she visited her doctor to pick up her medical records. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so with a sigh, she reported a litany of symptoms, this aches, that's stiff, I'm not as quick as I used to be, and so on.

He responded with, "Mrs. Dickson, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to be a hundred?"

Mrs. Dickson looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's ninety-nine."

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "merk" |