Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "Close Enough."

Little Johnny's family had guests for dinner.

The dessert was apple pie. Mom cut the pieces and Little Johnny carried them to the table.

He gave the first piece to Dad, who passed it to a guest.

Little Johnny came in with the second piece and gave it to Dad, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

A large passenger plane is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 35,000 feet, when suddenly an F-22 Raptor appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, a boring flight isn't it? Take care and have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the plane and asks, "Well, how was that?"

The airplane pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"

The jet pilot watches the plane, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the plane pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?"

The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?"

The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake."

Figuring that her 4 year old son Kevin was listening in the next room, Janet decided to tell her husband Don the latest Christmas gift she had bought the boy by spelling out the words "fire truck".

Don nodded and said, "I think it would be a great Christmas gift."

From the other side of the wall, they heard Kevin yell, "I don't want letters for Christmas!"