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Mary

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Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 61
# of followers : 2
# of following: 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$15.00 won 5 votes

My fellow teacher called for help—she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net."

Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out.

Later, the teacher called back. The trick worked. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."

5 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Mary" |
$9.00 won 4 votes

A client recently brought her two cats to my husband’s veterinary clinic for their annual checkup. One was a small-framed, round tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a long, sleek black cat.

She watched closely as I put each on the scale. “They weigh about the same,” I told her.

“That proves it!” she exclaimed. “Black does make you look slimmer and stripes make you look fat.”

4 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Mary" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

We were shopping for clothes when my 13-year-old daughter spotted a hat with "Guinness" written on it.

She put it on and proclaimed, "Look! I’m a genius!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Mary" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough.

“Kids,” he said, “if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me.”

Our six-year-old shot back, “Too late dad, I already got you another present.”

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Mary" |