My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet.

He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.

Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, “I just used a modem.”

Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, and a giraffe walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone. "Hello," she whispered.

"Hi, honey. How’s your mother?" I asked.

"She’s sleeping," she answered, again in a whisper.

"Did she go to the doctor?"

"Yes. She got some medicine," my niece said softly.

"Well, don’t wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?"

Again in a soft whisper, she answered, "Practicing my trumpet."

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap.

The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?”

The parrot says, “France—they’ve got millions of them there.”