Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 2890
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 662.00
$8.00 won 5 votes

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."

The new man asked, "What happened?"

"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

On the eve of our 50th Anniversary I quietly confided to my husband that I was having an affair.

He turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 4 votes

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

4 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into the ex-President. "Hello," Bush said. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

Moses took one look at the President, turned and ran in the other direction. The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.

Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.

Moses said, "The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |