Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3074
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 4
Location: United States
won: $ 776.00
$7.00 won 2 votes

A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"

The fellow says, "Sand!"

The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects... only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border.

Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated... "What have you there?"

"Sand"

"We want to examine." Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again.

Every two weeks for six months the inspections continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't show up. However, the guard sees him downtown and says to the fellow, "Buddy, you had us crazy. We sort of knew you were smuggling something. I won't say anything, but what were you smuggling?"

The fellow says, "Bicycles."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, "Where's the library at?"

The upperclassman said, "Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn't proper, so to speak."

The new student said, "Pardon me. Where's the library at, MORON?"

3 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$8.00 won 5 votes

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."

The new man asked, "What happened?"

"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

On the eve of our 50th Anniversary I quietly confided to my husband that I was having an affair.

He turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |