Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3264
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 852.00
$8.00 won 5 votes

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."

The new man asked, "What happened?"

"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$12.00 won 5 votes

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

5 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

On the eve of our 50th Anniversary I quietly confided to my husband that I was having an affair.

He turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 4 votes

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

4 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |