Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3264
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 852.00
$15.00 won 3 votes

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$8.00 won 3 votes

A seven-year-old boy dressed in his pajamas was safely pulled over by police after driving his mom's car 20 miles because he wanted to visit his dad.

The mother said the boy is really in trouble because he was only supposed to go to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and a pack of cigarettes.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight. Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, "Why did you put up such a fight?"

To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 5 votes

All my husband wanted was to pay for some batteries, but none of the clerks in the electronics store seemed interested in helping him.

"I've got an idea," I said and pulled a tape measure out of my purse. I stepped over to one of the giant plasma-screen TVs and started to measure it.

Faster than you can say high definition, a young man came running over. "May I help you?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes," I said. "I'd like to buy these batteries."

5 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |