What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

[What? What else was he going to say?]

Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?

A: They got married in the spring.

When all this pandemic stuff is over, I still plan to wear a mask.

It hides the perpetual look of annoyance I have for most people.

When you're over 60...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you will likely be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.