Remember when everyone had diaries and got mad when someone read them?

Now they put everything on Facebook and get mad when they don't!

My friend asked me to help him with his crossword puzzle as he was struggling with 4 across.

"What's the clue?" I asked.

"Overworked postman," he said.

"How many letters?"

"Thousands!"

A quote from an interview with the Operations Manager of a growing company. The journalist asks, "So how many employees are working in your company?"

The manager replies, "Approximately half of them..."

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!