misc jokes

What travel 100 miles per hour underground? “A mole on a motorbike.”

Why did the owl make everyone laugh?
“Cause he was a hoot!

To everyone amazement the middle-aged spinster announced her engagement.
“But I thought you said all men were stupid,” said one friend, “and that you’d never marry!
“Yes, I did, she replied, “but then I found one who asked me.”

On their first evening in their new home the bride went in to the kitchen to fix drinks. Five minutes later she came back into the living room in tears.
“What’s the matter, my angel?” asked her husband anxiously.
“Oh, Steven! She sobbed, “I put the ice cubes in hot water to wash them and now they’ve disappeared!”