misc jokes

Two men, both married, were discussing their lives. Suddenly one says," You know, I think I would like to die before my wife."

"Why is that?" asked the other.

"Because if she's there when I arrive, she'll be telling a lot of things about me. I want to clear my account before that."

In chemistry class the subject was "oxidation - reduction.” The teacher was really excited and after the lesson asked the students in a very loud voice, “now tell me where is the electron? Where is it?" a drowsy student jumps up at this and shouts "o.k." Nobody moves. Sir, shut the door. We can still catch the thief"

Q: Why did Mr. Stupid tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills!!

Q: What did King Tut say when he was scared?
A: I want my mummy!!!