misc jokes

Why did the author write his novel in the basement?

He wanted to write a best cellar.

An ardent preacher used to start the day only after reading the first verse he read from the cut open Bible and used it as God's daily message to him. One day as usual he cut opened the bible and read the verse “he went and hanged himself’” not fair, he told himself and cut opened the bible and read another verse, “you go and do the same.”

A father and son went deep-sea fishing. Out at sea, the father sees his son drilling a hole in the boat, when asked what he was doing, the son replied, "there's water coming into the boat, so I made a another hole for it to escape."

One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.
When his boss asked him what happened, he explained:

"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang
and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"

"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but what
about the other?" "They called back!"