misc jokes

10 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters!

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)

2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.

3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.

4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.

5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.

6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.

7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.

8. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"

9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.

10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.

Halloween Funnies V

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?-
Ghost-Toasties

Mommy, mommy, teacher keeps saying I look like a werewolf.-
Be quiet, dear, and go and comb your face

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?-
A wash and wear wolf

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?-
They boo-kle their seatbelts

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?-
Count Duckula

What game do little cannibals like to play at parties?-
Swallow the leader

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?-
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

Halloween Funnies V

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?-
Ghost-Toasties

Mommy, mommy, teacher keeps saying I look like a werewolf.-
Be quiet, dear, and go and comb your face

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?-
A wash and wear wolf

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?-
They boo-kle their seatbelts

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?-
Count Duckula

What game do little cannibals like to play at parties?-
Swallow the leader

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?-
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

Halloween Funnies IV
What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
- Grandma monster

Why did the monster eat a light bulb?-
Because he was in need of a light snack

Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?-
Boo boos

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin

Why do mummies make excellent spies?-
They're good at keeping things under wraps